


Say Something

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: Dean pushing you away because apparently today I am writing sad Dean.





	Say Something

“Say something.” Her words were barely a whisper as she looked at him pleadingly, tear tracks staining her cheeks. He didn’t move. Sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to her he just couldn’t let himself turn, he couldn’t bear to see the pain, the hurt, the disgust he knew would be there in her eyes. He had to be strong right now, he had to be the one to push her to leave. This was always going to happen, it was better to do this now and get it over with. You might have had a few weeks, months, hell maybe even a few years but he knew it was always gonna lead you both right here, right to a scummy motel room, unremarkable in every aspect other than this would be the last time. The last time he would see you. The last time he would hurt you. The last time he could save you. 

The well-worn carpet that must have once been a beige colour looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in god knows how long. How many muddy boots had traipsed through this room? How many people had walked out of the bathroom barefoot, feet still damp from the shower? Strange the thoughts that come to you in these moments. He knew there were so many things he wouldn’t recall about this in the years to come. The strange geometric green pattern of the wallpaper, the hideous orange comforter stretched out over the end of the bed, the way the unsteady Formica table wobbled slightly whenever anybody walked across the room. In the silence these little details screamed at him when all he really wanted was to take in every single inch of her, trying to imprint it into his memory while he still had her here but he knew he couldn’t. He was doing this for her and so he remained stoically seated, staring at the floor.

He felt so small, powerless even though this was his decision, his doing. He had fought his feelings for her every step of the way, knowing all it would bring was…this. This moment right here or death were the only possible conclusions and he couldn’t live with the thought that he might be the reason for your death so here he was, saying goodbye in the only way he could. He knew she would follow him anywhere. She had already given up so much to be with him, been through so much and he had never asked her once, she had always just been there, supporting him and his brother with whatever they needed, with whatever he needed. It had taken him a year to finally admit to himself that he loved her and another six months until he had given in one drunken night and told her exactly how he felt. Standing in a dingy motel room not totally dissimilar to this very room he had broken down and confessed everything to her, his hopes and his fears all laid bare and she had taken him into her arms and said those 3 little words changing his life for the better.

And now here he was giving up on you, giving up on the idea that he deserved someone like her, that you could actually make it. He knew for him there was no ‘happy ever after’, no white picket fence with 2.4 kids. That was never the life intended for him. There was too much darkness, he had seen and done too much, too many unforgivable things, too many people lost that he should have saved. No, this was the right thing. Maybe he was being selfish but that’s just who he is right? Some selfish, drunken asshole who doesn’t want to be responsible for her anymore. Even as he thought it he knew that wasn’t his reason for pushing her away. He was scared. Simple as that really. Being with him was dangerous and he was terrified that she would get hurt, that he would hurt her. Her voice cut through his thoughts as she knelt down in front of him, taking his face in her hands forcing him to look at her. “Dean, please, say something”.


End file.
